A new beginning

Introduction

I have been in the precontemplation stage of weight loss for a good 3 years now.. and I'm not talking precontemplation as in attempting to lose weight, I'm talking pre-contemplation as exactly what it is -PRE contemplation. I have never viewed myself as "skinny" or "fit" and looking back at pictures of me 4 years ago it makes me sad that I ever felt so badly about myself. I'm losing weight to improve my self confidence, my body image, for the EXTREME health benefits, and because.. lets face it.. I wan't to look hot in a bikini again. 

A brief history: 

I am a 19 year old Canadian girl who just finished the (in a weight loss sense) detrimental first year of university. I am at a point in my life where I am nearly 200 pounds, and I guarentee that if you saw a picture of me you wouldn't guess I am anywhere near that. I weighed in today at 194. Today is Monday July 1st 2013 and I am almost 200 pounds. Yes, I'm a tall girl.. but NO I do not have muscle. I am not blaming my weight on my large frame (because I don't have one), my muscular build (non-existant), I'm blaming my weight gain on none other but myself. 

My weight gain started a few years ago when I was involved in a serious relationship. As much as people try to play off the role of others opinions on your own self confidence and self-esteem, it plays a very significant role.. no matter who you are. While I was in this relationship my (ex) boyfriend had a way of making me feel great about myself. There doesn't seem to be a problem with being showered by compliments day in and day out, but with my lack of motivation to do anything, this actually had a negative impact on my lifestyle choices. The more confidence he gave me, the less I felt a need to change my body appearance. After breaking up, and going out into the big scary fish tank called "single life" I realized how much weight I actually did gain over the years I was with him. I was so emotionally distraught by how much I really did put on that you think I'd instantly sign up for a gym membership and stop eating all of the potato chips and pop.. but actually, I did the opposite. I felt so badly about myself that I literally stuffed my face with food with any chance I could get. I have become so unhealthy and I am tired of feeling this way. 

My obesity is holding me back from so many things in life.. when people ask me to make plans the first thing I think about is what I'm going to wear that will cover up my rolls and hide my large abdominal fat. What jeans can I squish my fat into without giving me a muffin top? what leggings can I wear without having a camel-toe? 

It always seems so easy to me when I think about weight loss, because in the past I have been successful, but lately I am just at such a lack of motivation to do anything. Yes, this comes from emotional problems as well as physical ones. Being constantly under stress makes me constantly fatigued. If my friends ask me to do something, laying in my bed at home and watching movies with some popcorn sounds more comforting to me. I am losing interest in the things I have always loved to do and it is truly ruining my life. 

I am changing. Changing for me, changing for you, changing for good. I need to have two plans in place. My short-term goal and my long-term goal. 

Long term goal: 

My long-term goal is to reach One Hundred and Sixty Pounds by August 13th 2013. 

As for week one (starting tomorrow) 

My short-term goal 

Exercise: 

is to go for a hike once a day and do the stairs up and down once a day. 7 days. 

Nutrition: 

Drink 1L of water everyday
Limit sugars, starches and processed food (but not eliminate) 

Stress: 

Sleep. (min. 8 hours per night) 

Today is the beginning of the next chapter of my life, and for once in a really long time I believe in myself and I believe I can do it. 

Wish me luck and I will keep you posted with what's in store for me now. 

xoxo 
-N